Hello baby, I want to tell you a story.
Nearly 8 years ago, I received my first prophetic word about becoming a mama. Many visions, dreams, and words followed to confirm that promise. After years of marriage, reproductive tests, and surgery – Daddy and I were thrown into the “unexplained infertility” category. But I still believed, with all expectancy, that I wouldn’t be barren for a lifetime. Everything in me stood on God’s words. I spoke His promises with boldness. And finally, your sister’s life was announced with a public prophetic word that was fulfilled that very night.
My story has been the same for years and years. I have stood, against all odds, believing for my miracle babes. But you changed everything.
Last Christmas, Hauntie gave me a gift of hope. God gave her a vision of August 25 and she heard the same date in her spirit. Holy Spirit didn’t unveil what would happen in my life, but I hoped it would involve you. First I hoped it was your birthdate. Then I hoped it was the day I would learn your name and gender. Next I hoped it was the day I would discover I was pregnant with you. With no more time left, I hoped it was the day I would conceive. But August 25 arrived without you. Without anything I could recognize as significant. I went to bed unaware that August 25 was the very last day of a season I had been living since the day I got married (just days shy of 11 years earlier). The season of waiting, in faith, for children.
I woke up August 26 with questions. But instead of God telling me to trust His words (like all the times before), He reminded me we hear in part. And instead of God reaffirming the idea of more children (like all the times before), He called me to complete gratitude for my one miracle. Your sister. And instead of inviting me to prepare for the future (like all the times before), He challenged me to fully invest in today.
I surrendered you to God, right then. Not in theory or with hollow words. But in complete trust. In action. I hardly recognized myself afterwards. Who was this woman? What was this season? I was offered sentimental clothes I had wanted for years. I politely declined. I sold everything I could that I was saving for you. I rejoiced with three newly pregnant friends, without heartache. I poured myself into a vision God gave me to honor my love for Zippi. I photographed MamaLovesYou sessions in Oklahoma, Texas, and California. All in 2 months time! The short season since August 25 has been SO fruitful.
My love, I encourage you to embrace every season God brings you. Throw your arms wide around it and abandon your expectations in trust. Because it was NOT my season of faith that led me to you. It was this season of surrender and gratitude!!!
I wasn’t waiting for you the moment you were conceived. But you were received immediately. My heart was ready for you. And my body welcomed you with fanfare. I noticed every little sign of life and wondered about you for weeks. My anticipation grew so exponentially that I just couldn’t wait another day to confirm your presence. Daddy, Zippi, Hauntie, Tate, and I took a pregnancy test to our shared home away from home. Starbucks. We turned on the video camera, gathered close, and cheered our guts out with that positive. It’s a good thing your sweet ears hadn’t developed yet.
I spent the rest of the evening punch drunk with love and chai. When it was finally just the two of us, I whispered hello. I prayed for you. Blessed you. And thanked God for you. My miracle.
Baby, we share something that I share with no one else. You are my one and only you. And I love you in a way I will never love another.