This morning a dear friend encouraged me to reflect on the photography business I had years ago in my home state. I started with a camera. One that I didn’t know how to work manually. Yes, I was a green box amateur. [Hanging head.] But I was wild with inspiration. And everything that came across my path got snapped. I mean every-little-thing. The salt and pepper shaker on the table. The branch outside my front door. And all living creatures I called family and friends. In February of 2004 I took my cousins and some black and white film down to the beach. I knew nothing about exposure or the lighting challenges the noon day sun holds. But I knew a whole lot about these two hearts and their relationship. I photographed my guts out and was left with the unedited memories you see below. They are like still frame versions of who these two used to be.

It didn’t take long before I moved from photographing the family dog and my best friend to the stranger who found me on a wedding website. My business kind of exploded with nothing more than a free ad hidden among hundreds. I lacked skill. I followed every shameful trend. [Yes, I once photographed an entire ceremony/reception at an angle. Maybe two. Okay, maybe more than I care to admit.] Surely I made a million mistakes. But my love for photography was contagious. And I was just clueless enough to be fearless with every opportunity that came my way. I printed out business cards and designed a website using a profile pic of my wind blown self on my honeymoon. I didn’t collaborate with designers or experts on branding. I didn’t even know what branding was. [And kind of still don't.] I just ran with my dream into the great unknown. Without an option B. I did not plan on failing. Truthfully, I didn’t plan anything. Two years later I had experiences that I still want to go back and relive. With a couple hilarious surprises like zoot suits along the way.

When we moved to Texas five years ago I wanted to learn what I never got the chance to. I wanted to study the technical. Research styles. And indulge on the works of those in this field I felt couldn’t breathe without leaving something wonderful behind. Those years allowed me to discover how I had been limiting myself with lack of knowledge and creativity. But focusing my attention on other’s brilliance opened a heavy door of comparison too. Fear crept in with every flaw I found in my portfolio. In my personality. In my business abilities. Etc. I lived in that oppressive shadow up until days ago.

A beautiful awakening is happening in me. I am feeling wild with inspiration again. I am returning to the wind blown version of my soul. I am sharing what I know are imperfect photographs because I am remembering that photography is about emotional connection. I am learning the hearts of those who are in front of my lens. I will be wearing my camera around my neck like a locket that a lover refuses to take off. And I have every intention of being fearless in the face of opportunity. I have abandoned myself to dreaming again. So, with unashamed hope, I am believing this will be an explosive year for TheLoveDoves.

Love & Light,
MrsLoveDove

Love & Light,
MrsLoveDove

Speaking of vendors – their support team was amazing! 9 Social - Reception & Catering [website] / Anna Gotcher – Wedding Coordinator / Rob Gotcher – DJ / Meghan Cobb – Makeup & Hair

Consider this your challenge to participate in a BiggestLoser competition without that obnoxious camera recording your every sweaty move. A 12 week transformation. Starting Monday 12/12/11. Ending Sunday 3/4/12. Are you in? Good. Go weigh yourself. Write down that number. And keep it for your eyes only. Now take some tips from TheBiggestLoser weight-loss program.

EAT:
1) Count calories. Multiply your weight by 7 and stay under that total every day. Go no lower than 1200. Keep a food journal, if needed.
2) Create a meal plan that includes 5 meals a day. Set your phone alarm as a daily reminder of those times.
3) Structure your meals around your necessary servings of vegetables/fruits x4, protein x3, and whole grains x2. A vegetable/fruit serving is 1 cup/8 oz of raw or frozen produce. If you overindulge in anything, let it be vegetables. A protein serving is 1 cup/8 oz of 95% lean meat, fish, beans, soy products, and low-fat dairy. A whole grain serving is 2 slices of whole grain bread, 1 whole wheat tortilla, or 1 cup of brown rice/quinoa/whole wheat pasta.
4) Only allot 200 daily calories to oils, salad dressings, condiments, peanut butter, nuts, pickles, olives, and sugar-free sweets.
5) Drink at least 6 bottles of water every day. Also enjoy coffee, tea, and 1 diet soda.

EXERCISE:
1) Dedicate 60 minutes 4 days a week to cardio. Walk/jog/run, cycle, swim or use the treadmill, climber, or elliptical. Work at a steady pace on some days and speed up/slow down in intervals on others.
2) Dedicate 30 minutes 3 days a week to building muscle. Do 12 push ups + 12 squats + 12 shoulder presses + 12 squats again + 12 bicep curls + 5 minutes of walking lunges + 12 chair dips + 12 dumbbell rows + 12 standard lunges + 7 minutes of abdominal crunches without resting longer than 5 seconds. If you don’t know what any of these are, google them.
3) Choose a weight that leaves you feeling fatigued at the end of your rep.
4) Warm up by jogging in place for 5 minutes. Cool down with hamstring + quadricep + back stretches.
5) Keep in your target heart rate. Subtract your age from 220. Multiply that by 0.8 and 0.85 to get your ideal range.

Weigh yourself every week and record your weekly losses on this blog. Your actual weight will remain your secret. Just include the number of pounds lost. Feel free to share any suggestions or struggles. And when the times comes, join us in testing our limits with BiggestLoser challenges. Remember, this is a friendly competition. Let’s encourage one another to reach individual goals! And achieve our own, whether we are the biggest loser or not!

Enjoy your favorite foods this weekend. Plan for Monday. Cheat on Christmas. But not at any other holiday gathering. And be wowed by March.

Your Competition
MrsLoveDove

I just finished reading Jasmine’s magazine - Exposed – cover to cover. It’s an uncensored look at the ups and downs of her first two years in photography. A powerful 160 page confession. An inspiring presentation of style and art. And a welcome mat placed at the heart of anyone who has ever wanted to fully embrace their individuality. As a person. As a photographer.

I found myself raising my hand at the end of it. Shouting out in the most silent way possible, THAT’S ME. So I am going to borrow Jasmine’s boldness and do a little exposing of my own. Right here. Right now. Warning. I might look like [hot mess] met [ooh child]. But won’t you show a little Mr. Rogers kindness and stay with me, neighbor?

1) We sold our 70-200 2.8 lens on Sunday. Because bills are real. And so is the struggle to make a living at photography. It’s the last of our possible sales. Everything else is already gone. I am left with a 5D Mark II, a 50 1.2 lens, and a make-it-work memory of Tim Gunn. If you had seen inside of me on Sunday, I would have looked like a knotted up yarn ball of questions. How am I supposed to stay skilled at photographing with other lenses when I can only rent them for weddings? How am I supposed to show diversity in a portrait shoot with a single lens? How am I supposed to grow my business when it keeps being stripped down to the basics? This morning I still can’t answer those questions but I realize I need to stop asking them. What I can do has been overshadowed by acknowledging what I can’t. Truth is, photographers joke that they could photograph an entire wedding with those two pieces of equipment alone. Entire business brands are built around them. I own what others save up for. I am really only as limited as I allow myself to believe. So step aside defeat. Me and my trusty two are going to spark with creativity.

2) I hate ballrooms and the like. There, I said it. If I was never hired to photograph a wedding in a white square box again, I would feel like the world added sprinkles to my cupcake. Maybe that’s why I am so eager to photograph outside of Texas and its traditions. I long for freebird brides, lace gowns, handmade details, tiny treat tables, and ceremonies/receptions set outside in the sun. It’s easy to turn into a green-eyed monster when I stalk this modern romance, simply bloom, and clayton austin. But why would I wish on a dandelion for a Georgia peach when I can style staged shoots that will draw her to me? I started this year with such a project and it was the best experience of my professional career. 2012, I have an early new year’s resolution. I will devote empty time on my calendar to filling my portfolio with images that inspire me.

3) This website isn’t what I had hoped, or even planned, it would be. So if you don’t like it, I don’t blame you. I wanted cotton. The kind you see in a field. A wooden foundation with white whimsy bursting from it. Every day I look at it, along with the rest of my business, and wonder if it will ever be what I see in my dreams. TheLoveDoves should be a genuine extension of me. And my love. And our love for photography. I need to try again.

4) Are we just taking up space in this virtual world? I am haunted by this thought every time a post doesn’t make human contact. Not even with the photography subject. It does something to me when I don’t get feedback on this site from the very people that are emotionally attached to my work. I feel like my soul is rejected. Yeah, I just admitted that. Out loud. For all my past clients to read. So before I delete this in self-preservation, let me put a positive spin on this. Admiring art is one of the beauties of being alive. And extending a kind word, in that admiration, is one of the beauties of being human. Live and love.

5) I want to work for a magazine. Even more than I want to be featured in one. I fantasize about being contracted to photograph a catalog. That’s why my guilty pleasures are ANTM & Project Runway. Print work, models, and fashion hold the same appeal to me as barbie did when I was young. But I feel so very far away from any path that would ever lead me to that. Was that enough very’s, any’s, and ever’s to emphasize my point? I don’t even know where to begin!

And with that, my heart has gone quiet. I’m exposed. I asked for HEROhusband’s honest evaluation of my honesty. Before posting this. His response was freeing. [What's it going to do? Keep us from getting business?] We laughed because we both know that we don’t need to fear something we are already living. So, in theory, there is only good that can come out of this. Connection, maybe? Probably? Surely.

This year I named our tree “Gardenia” in honor of the white doily flowers I made. I really wanted to incorporate paper ornaments to compliment our wall covered in book pages. Can I just say, I love them! We also have pine cones. Glitter snowflakes. Frosted glass balls. Teardrop icicles Bestie gifted us on our 1st Christmas as Mr&Mrs. Twinkle lights. And love doves as our tree topper. Now if our tree could only smell like Michael Kors perfume.

May we be the first to greet you and yours!

MERRY CHRISTMAS,
MrsLoveDove

I admire people who pick up a cause and run with it. We need passion like that to change the world. But sometimes circumstances hand you a cause. Suddenly you know something deeply through experience. And you can’t imagine not giving your life to it. October is breast cancer awareness month. Six months ago today, our sister lost her life to breast cancer. I want to honor what she did with the time that she was given! She raised money for the American Cancer Society through Relay For Life because she believed in finding a cure. Purchased Christmas gifts for children in the cancer ward because she was always a giver. Allowed the media into her home, outings, and even memorial service – to raise awareness across her state. She used every opportunity God gave her to share her story. And because of that, He allowed her story to spread far and wide. To work itself into the hearts of strangers. And to rally support for her cause.

So, what’s your cause? Heather only had 2 years to make a difference. What could you do with a lifetime?

Miss You Heather Faith,
MrsLoveDoves

[Belle sees beyond the surface, making all that she casts her gaze upon beautiful.] This is one of the advertising lines for the “Belle” gown from the Disney bridal collection. So fitting. Laura brought this fairytale to life. In look. In heart. There was not a detail her beauty did not touch. And so Mark&Laura’s forever after begins…

Preparation Location: Hilton Hill Country Hotel & Spa / San Antonio, TX